Puns on the name Burns...

[Pete Reek]

Hoot aboot the wan oot at the Backs? Thats a burn isn't it? Sos the wan doo at Keprigan that runs tae Suthen.
Yiv got wan that runs though the Meadows grun. Wan ower at Dalaruan.
The place is palooted wi burns!!

[EMDEE]

Clean forgot about these wans.

[ionnsaigh]

Clean forgot about these wans.

Fag burns- fat burns -flame burns - rubbish burns- dinner burns- hell burns

[Auld Pop]

And of course there's Tommy Burns, Pete Burns, Rabbie Burns to name but 3 and all have or had--- Side Burns.

[ionnsaigh]

And of course there's Tommy Burns, Pete Burns, Rabbie Burns to name but 3 and all have or had--- Side Burns.

Big burns, wee burns, third degree burns, sun burns, thats it am burnt oot.

[jambojarv]

My own personal favourite... carpet burns.

[Auld Pop]

My own personal favourite... carpet burns.

Depends whither tis oan yur erse urr yur elba's.

[ionnsaigh]

My own personal favourite... carpet burns.

Depends whither tis oan yur erse urr yur elba's.

If its oan yer erse its oan yer back
Oan yer elbsa's it's oan yer knees

[big tony]

i always favour the 3rd degree

the other two were mingers!!!!

[Bobbie En Tejas]

This weekend's events sponsored by Powder Burns

[Annie]

It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotch understanding. Author: Sydney Smith

Source: Land Holland's Memoir (vol. I, p. 15)

[Auld Pop]

Whit aboot hot cross burns, they are my favourite.

[ionnsaigh]

burns supper-burns square- burns brightly-hot watter burns-to close tae the fire burns-wid burns

[ionnsaigh]

Oh aye an wee burnsie

[bill]

I fell into a burning ring of fire

I went down down down and the flames got higher

And it burns burns burns

The ring of fire, the ring of fire