General Jack Oneil thread

[The Hitman]

Close but it was acually in the 17th century, in fact ye are as far away as your first defication.

Whilst I was away I overheard a newly married man speaking to one of his mates, he said he got married 4 weeks ago, had the kilt on too! Mate says "Very nice pal, what was the tartan?" Oh she was in a white dress!"

[general jack o'niell]

i'll give you that one!!!!!

[The Hitman]

Another guy I met said he was an after dinner speaker, he was asked to speak at the incontentent society's annual dinner and to get directions he had to access their website which was http:www./././././././././.com.

After that he was asked to do a gig at the paranoia club, when the chairman phoned he wasn't in and his wife was passing on the message that George from the paranoia club phoned earlier and just at that the phone rang again. "Hello there, it's George from the paranoia club here." Oh that's strange replies the speaker, me and the wife were just talkin about you there!" Needless to say George promptly hung up!!!

[general jack o'niell]

what else from the bookstore bargain bucket did you get for your birthday?

did anyone buy you some balls?


thought not!!!!!

[The Hitman]

No I didn't get any of those I'm afraid.

However I hear your very partial to them, you receive them all the time I heard.

But I shall not comment on what you do with your spare time, what mild perversions you get up to in your own house is something we do not need to know!

[general jack o'niell]

mmmmmmmmmm yes your probably right, how could you ever be wrong, i'll leave others to decide if that post says more about you than it ever could about me?

[The Hitman]

General as you should be well aware by now, I am always right.

As for you, you have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity!

[general jack o'niell]

to make such a sweeping statement you need to start with some facts, since you have none of these to hand, a bit of hearsay maybe? some conjecture? but very little in the way of hard facts, not surprising really since i can safely assume that you actually know nothing at worst and vvery little at best about me, unless you happen to be my wife masquerading as someone else? i know thats not the case, so anything you print comes straight out of your tiny mind, not your fault if your so insecure that you wish to make yourself appear urbane and witty at my expense, it's not costing me anything, as your teachers probably told you in school "it's only your own time you are wasting, i have all day!!"

why don't you pick a name at randon from the list of members? you have more chance of getting your comments to match the character of an anonimous forum user than you do of getting even a smidgen of credibility for anything you write about me. why? simple really, everyone knows who i am, most probably don't know me, but they know who I am!!! therefor anything i write can come directly back to me, hence i deal in facts, not fantasy like you, i'm beginning to think you have a wee crush on me, nothing wrong with that, a kind of schoolboy crush on the teacher, just don't bring me an apple, oh and don't get carried away, i smile at everyone i meet, you obviously read too much into it when i must have smiled and said "good morning" to you during one of your periods of stalking me in the town, you must have since you appear to know my movements.

just keep your admiration at a distance, i might kick with the other foot, but i don't play for the other team!!!!!!

[bill]

Had a good laugh at your last post Gen.I do'nt know about stalking,but I will be looking for you to introduce myself and shake your hand, the next time I'm in town.

[The Hitman]

Aw is the wee General spittin his dummy? Boo hoo diddums, better put it back in you'll wake up the life at the bottom of the pond!!

Now now General, judging from your previous posting, I would say your a pretty insecure individual. To be expected really, anyone that spends as much time in your company as you do is bound to have reached insanity. Fear not General, I certainly do not have a crush on anything male, I agree with Gods commandments entirely!!! That's just wrong in my opinion!!

I only jest with a man like yourself to keep me amused, shame really, but as my mother always told me, help those less fortunate than yourself! So here I am, giving you something to do in your long dull days sittin doing nothing. What would you do if you couldn't come on this forum and have the banter with the one and only Hitman.

So instead of getting all worked up and upset, you should relax, bring me down to your level (Oh dear lord not that low) and I shall try and converse in a language that you understand........goes a little something like this.........

GENERAL JACK O NEIL.......YOU TAKE YOUR COMPUTER.......SHINE IT UP REAL NICE .......TURN THAT SUM B1TCH SIDEWAYS
... .......AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY @SS!!!!!!

[Jek Black]

Oh dear.
I think Hitman just landed on a mighty big snake.

Pity really.

[Bobbie En Tejas]

The last two posts from general and hitman were hilarious, except I didn't get Hitman's last statement. It insinuates that not only does the general have an at sign, he has more than one at sign, and candy at signs at that...

[Machrihanish]

dear oh dear, I think the hitman may as well give up as I get the impression that he isn't going to best the Gen any time soon....or ever

[Annie]

That is because he constantly has to rewind the big rubber band that keeps that wummin o' his moving!

[The Hitman]

Oh will ya take a look at this, I can understand Jek taking the side of the General, hell one look at that avator and I thought it was the General's alias'. They sure do dress alike Billy Bob ahyuk!

And I think you shall find I care not whether I get the better of the General or not, as I said in my previous posting, this is purely for my own amusement!

And the only rubber band I ever did see was hostage. Wobbly from start to finish and stretched themselves just a little too far.

TWANG!!