by EMDEE » Sun Feb 17, 2008 2:32 pm
One of the problems in recent years with the banks has been the demise of the local branch manager and the absence of anyone with any authority with whom the buck stops. This has been coupled with a universal reliance on credit blacklists to assess applications for finance. Here are my views on the subject:
THE BANK
Dedicated to all those who have suffered at the hands of these conscienceless and avaricious institutions
1
When your back’s to the wall and your debts are not small,
And you really don’t have any answer,
Then you’d better suppose as your deficit grows,
That the bank will just think you’re a chancer,
They’re not there for you, but the shareholder crew,
Who are proud and important financers,
The buck’s passed around, You’re stamped into the ground,
Just as if you were some form of cancer.
2
The staff are most pleasant, they’ll talk to a peasant,
You really think you’re on a winner,
Then a letter comes in and you’re chucked in the bin,
And they’re treating you just like a sinner,
You’d be best to refrain, don’t ask them to explain,
As your patience will quickly grow thinner,
When you realise that you’re so much despised,
That they won’t risk the price of their dinner.
3
They don’t care about you, you’re the dirt on their shoe,
You’re a leper and don’t you forget it,
With a bad credit score you are shown to the door,
Once they’ve met you and managed to vet it,
Don’t try down the street, they don’t want to compete,
For your business, they don’t want to get it,
They all work together, whatever the weather,
You’ll get nothing from them, you can bet it.
4
When a prisoner’s done time and he’s paid for his time,
It’s good then to let him restart,
But if you’re on a blacklist, it’s deemed a bit tactless,
To ask for the smell of a fart,
They won’t entertain you, they will further stain you,
With ease at the speed of a dart,
They’ll list your request and the fact it went west,
Thus adding still more to your chart.
5
So if you need money, and I’m not being funny,
You’d be better to give them a swerve,
They’ve only agreed what you don’t really need,
And it’s truly a hell of a nerve,
When it comes to the crunch they’re a merciless bunch,
And will sink you with greatest of verve,
At best they won’t feed you, they’ll certainly bleed you,
Until you’ve got no more reserve.