Chess

by **LANDROVER ROGER** » Wed May 21, 2008 5:12 pm

Went for a meal last night with a Russian chess champion.The table cloth was black and white check.Took him two hours to pass me the salt.

by **A Horse called Juan Face** » Wed May 21, 2008 5:34 pm

I regularly attend AA meetings with Deep Blue. Not for me those fancy punchline things.

by **LANDROVER ROGER** » Thu May 22, 2008 10:44 am

A Horse called Juan Face wrote:I regularly attend AA meetings with Deep Blue. Not for me those fancy punchline things.

Am I missing something?

by **Bitter End** » Thu May 22, 2008 1:14 pm

by **LANDROVER ROGER** » Thu May 22, 2008 3:11 pm

Please explain. :?:

by **Govangirl** » Thu May 22, 2008 11:31 pm

I'm with you, Roger -I thought it might be a secret meeting in Kintyre!!!!!!! Right over my head, that one! :lol:

by **LANDROVER ROGER** » Fri May 23, 2008 4:33 am

Thank you for that Govangirl,I thought that I had landed on Planet Zog!

by **A Horse called Juan Face** » Sat May 24, 2008 10:13 am

LANDROVER ROGER wrote:Please explain.

haha there was no meaning, thats what i meant by the punchline bit. Fairdoes tho, i like my humour, but i knows i is the only one.

by **Govangirl** » Sat May 24, 2008 10:51 am

Just shows you, you can take a horse to a joke, but you can't make it funny! :lol:

by **LANDROVER ROGER** » Sat May 24, 2008 10:59 am

Nice one govangirl! :lol:

by **A Horse called Juan Face** » Sat May 24, 2008 11:01 am

i laughed, i dont care about you

by **Govangirl** » Sat May 24, 2008 11:46 am

Anyway, back to topic, here's another for you Roger.......

There was a large chess tournament held at a hotel, and after the first few games, some of the players gathered in the lobby to talk quite loudly amongst themselves about their various victories. They would boast about their brilliant strategies, sharp tactics, cunning endgame play, each trying to brag of a more impressive victory than the others.

After a while, the manager of the hotel came over and asked them to disperse. "You're disturbing the other guests", he told them. The group of chess players seemed unhappy about this, but they left the lobby to find a more private area to continue their conversation.

Once they were gone, one of the other hotel employees asked the manager, "Why did you ask them to leave the lobby? None of the other guests have complained."

The manager replied, "I just can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!" :lol:

by **LANDROVER ROGER** » Sat May 24, 2008 11:59 am

Govangirl,Brilliant! :lol:

by **Govangirl** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:23 pm

I found an American article this week:

BERKELEY, CA - The Berkeley Board of Education voted last night to ban the game of Chess from all of its elementary, junior high and high schools. The board claims that Chess has a negative influence on students because of the backwards and outdated thinking that was responsible for creating the game.
One board member, Claudia Starsniffer, compiled a list of seven grievances against Chess. Starsniffer's list claims,
1. Chess is irrelevant to our society because it was created by dead white guys.
2. Chess encourages racism by having a 'war' between a white army and a black army.
3. Chess reinforces current racist tendencies in our society by always having the white army move first.
4. Chess glorifies war.
5. Chess oppressively reinforces heterosexual stereotypes. It does this by forcing each army to have a king and a
queen and by not allowing the game to be played with either two kings or two queens.
6. Chess is guilty of breaking the separation of church and state by allowing a bishop to be a belligerent in war.
7. Chess destroys self-esteem. When children play the game, one always loses. Losing causes a child to feel dumb
and inadequate.
Said Starsniffer, "There is no place in our society for a monstrous game like Chess. Chess is dangerous. Chess is destructive. Chess teaches racial and sexual oppression. Chess has got to go!

Now, I know it's not really a joke, but you've got to laugh........ :lol: