Are you Scottish?

[Govangirl]

50 pure dead giveaways that you are Scottish

1. Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

4. Youhave a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldjin is someone over 40, and Baltic is cold.

5. You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as long as it's deep fried – Haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken and battered Mars Bars.

6. You used to love destroying your teeth with – Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms.

7. You always greet people by talking about the weather.

8. Evenif you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue, Big Country, etc, you still love it when they are played in a club abroad. (in fact you’ll probably ask the DJ to play it)

9. You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland play a diddy team.

10. You are proud that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking deaths in Europe .

11. You used to watch Glen Michael’s Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin.

12.. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas.

13. You only enjoy Weir’s Way on the telly, when you are pissed.

14. You are able to recognise the regional dialect, (Glasgow) ‘Awright pal,gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. (Aberdeen ) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? fair few quines in the night, min. ( Inverness ) Ah-eee right enuffff! How’s you keeeepeeeen? (Kintyre) That's a hoora drink!

15. You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone shout—'Errapolis'.

16. You have witnessed a ‘Square Go’

17. You know that when you are asked which School you attended they really mean, ‘Are you Catholic or Proddy?’

18. You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock’sTeacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porage, Macaroon Bar, BaxtersSoup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.

19.. A Jakey has ask you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

20. You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.

21. You know that the right response to ‘you dancing?’ is ‘you askin?’ followed by ‘am askin’ and finally ‘then am dancin’.

22. You associated sawdust with vomit, coz the ‘jannie’ always, used to pour it over sick in school..

23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn’t wear a kilt.

24. You don’t do shopping, you ‘go for the messages.’

25. You’re on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to.

26. You are able to conduct a 20 minute phone call using three words only,-- Awright, aye, and naw.

27. When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ‘ You no well?’

28. You have heard the following:

You canny fling pieces oot a 20 storey flat,

700 hungry weans’ll testify to that,

If its butter, cheese or jelly,

If the breed is plain or pan,

The chances o’ it reachin earth,

Are ninety nine tae wan.



29. You know that going to a party means bringin a Kerry oot.

30. Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a heatwave back home.

31. Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think, getting beat 3-2 was ‘no a bad result’.

32. You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Kirkcaldy.

33. You love deep fried Pizza.

34. You can’t pass a Kebab shop after being at the pub.

35. You are used to four seasons in one day. (winter, winter, autumn, winter)

36. You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink.

37. You see people wearing shellsuits with Burberry accessories, and think ‘thats class’.

38. You measure distance in minutes.

39. You understand Rab C. Nesbitt.

40. You go to Saltcoats because you think its abroad..

41. You can make a whole sentence using only swear words.

42. You know what haggis is made with, but you still enjoy it.

43. You know someone who planned their wedding around the football fixtures.

44. You have been to a wedding and the football results have been announced in church.

45. You are not surprised to find one shop selling ALL of the following: Pizzas, Nappies, Fags, Curries, Milk, Paint, Shoes etc.

46. Your seaside home has Calor gas under it.

47. You know that Irn-Bru is a good hang over cure.

48. You could swear before you could count.

49. You would ‘nut’ a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport.

50. Youare not only Scottish but Glasweigan when you understand thefollowing- How’s it hingin’, clatty, boggin’, cludgie, Ba’heid,bawbag, and double nougat .

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[dr-sanchez]

class govangirl

[ionnsaigh]

Wits wrang wae number 37 - me in the misses hif goat awe the gear - pure dead class so it is.
am fair disappointed girl - a thoat ye wur wan a the booys.
Brilliant girl pure dead brilliant so it is.
PS Kin ye get other types of sausage that urny square - they must be fay doon south.

[Govangirl]

Wits wrang wae number 37

Whit's wrang wae eny o' it?

[hugh]

Link sausages, Ionns. Never heard of links?

P.S. Demand a Milanda.

[hugh]

McKellar Watts for meatiness.

I am very thirsty
Ah'm thirsty too
Here's the dink that's made for you
Barrs Irn Bru.

Look to the future, make McGeachy your butcher.

They don't write them like that any more. "Johnstons for rolls"....where was that from again? (Oorly'll know. )

[Govangirl]

A B D I N E
Abdine is the drink for me
First the blue, then the white
Abdine makes you feel alright.


Jon Collier, John Collier
The window to watch


And then the one for 1001 Carpet Cleaner that cleans a big, big carpet- for only half a crown!!!!!

[EMDEE]

Lees, Lees, more if you please,
All of us beg on our bended knees
For piccaninnies and Grandpapas
It's Lees for luscious macaroon bars.


And the tune was a jazzed up version of "Mud,mud glorious mud"

[hugh]

Qpen windae.....that's handy.

[Govangirl]

Gosh, Emdee, I used to sing 'pickled lilies' when I was wee and didn't ever question it!
How about

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fID-W9RT7OY

[Govangirl]

Qpen windae.....that's handy.

Ha ha, our teacher made us all write to STV to complain that the robber was Scottish and the voiceover was English!!!!!! She was livid - quite right too!

[EMDEE]

I am very thirsty
Ah'm thirsty too
Here's the dink that's made for you
Barrs Irn Bru.

I always preferred Dunsade, but you canna get it now!

[hugh]

Was there one called Solripe? Or was that made by Dunns? American cream soda...loved that stuff, oh and money back on the bottle. Those were the days....

[EMDEE]

There was a Glasgow woman in a Chinese restaurant scanning through the menu when she came to Beef with Ginger, she called the waiter and asked him what kind of ginger it is you get with the beef. Is it Irn-bru, cola, tizer etc.?

[EMDEE]

Was there one called Solripe? Or was that made by Dunns? American cream soda...loved that stuff, oh and money back on the bottle. Those were the days....

I think Solripe was the brand name that Dunns used for their range. I remember the bottles were 1/3d when you bought them, and you got 3d back on them. It was good if you could get half a dozen of them and get 1/6d. That was a good boost to the pocket money.

I see that Barrs now have a label on the back of the bottle to encourage recycling and pointing out that there is a 30p refund on the empty bottle. They state that they believe that their products taste better out of a glass bottle, and I would completely agree with that.