a new pandemic ?

[Bitter End]

From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested
positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu.

This debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears this is not
an isolated case.

Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed
with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned
tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a
lie down.

However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD
and take some Nurofen (Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that
has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu). Others are
reporting a square sausage on a roll and a bottle of Irn Bru can also
help in some cases. If not, then further application of the original
liquid, in similar quantities to the original dose, has been shown to do
the trick..

Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can
be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period.


NOTE
If you find you are complaining a lot about the symptoms, it may be that
it has mutated into Whine Flu. This is particularly common in men and
can quickly spread to their partners where the symptoms are detected as
a serious case of eye-roll