For the Govan Girl (with apology to Mr G.G.)

[Bitter End]

He said to me ... . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me . . ........ Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart

He said to me.. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . ..... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don't have time

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . I don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said. . . A widow.

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Brilliant as always B.E.The last one is the best!

[Govangirl]

Why me? Are you picking on me Bitter? I will let you know Boy that I have a marriage made in Heaven. He takes me everywhere.... but I always find my way back!
Everywhere we go, we always hold hands. He knows that if he lets go, I shop.
And twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a wee drink, a bit of dancing, good food and great companionship.
He goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

So don't you go casting any asspershuns!!!!!!!!

[dgraves]

You should be writing a column, Govan Girl! Maxine, take a back seat..

[Govangirl]

:lol: You should be writing a column, Govan Girl! Maxine, take a back seat..

It must be you Americans as my friend over there says the same! I love Maxine and always stock up on her cards when I'm over there at your Hallmarks.
So if Bitter decides again to sully my good reputation, I'll think of Maxine. However, I also believe that it's very important to stay relaxed on this frantic, stressful forum and one has to force one's self to stop and put one's feet up at times.
So I'll be putting mine up just high enough to kick the butt of whoever's annoying me Bitter!