APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION
TO DATE MY DAUGHTERNOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, history, lineage, recent MI5/FBI background check, psychiatric evaluation, and updated medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME:_________________DATE OF BIRTH:_____________
2. HEIGHT:______WEIGHT:_______I.Q.______GPA_________
3. SOCIAL SECURITY#_________________________________
DRIVERS LICENCE#_________________________________
BOY SCOUT RANK:__________________________________
4. HOME ADDRESS:____________________________________
CITY_______POSTAL CODE________
5. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? ____yes?____no?
6. Number of years parents married:_________________
7. Do you own a van?______A truck with oversized tyres?_______A waterbed?______ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly ring?_______________ Tattoo?_____________
(IF YES TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES)
8. In 50 words or less, what does DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER MEAN TO YOU? ___________________________
_________________________________________________
9. In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
10. .In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? ___________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
11. Congregation you attend:_______________________
How often do you attend?_________________________
Glasgow football team you support:_________________
When would it the best time to interview your father, mother, relatives, neighbors, minister/rabbi/priest, and past girlfriends?
(supply phone numbers)___________________________
_________________________________________________
12. What do you want to be IF you grow up?___________
ANSWER THESE SEMI-CONFIDENTIAL QUESTIONS
BY FILLING IN THE BLANKS.
A. "If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is____________________________
B. "If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ___________________________________________
C. "A woman's place is in the ______________________
D. "The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ____________________________________
E. "When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her is __________________________________________
(NOTE: If the answer to #E begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and it is advised that you leave the premises right now keeping your head low and running
in a serpentine fashion.)
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE, UNDER THE PENALTY OF A SLOW DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, SOLDIER ANT TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DRIPPING WATER TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, AND THE CAROL THATCHER KISS TORTURE.






